Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome

In 2002, the first support-action group for fathers of Down syndrome children was organized. By the way, it was about 50 years behind the first Down syndrome support group for mothers.

Joe Meares, whose fourth daughter was born with Trisomy 21—-more commonly known as Down syndrome—-observed the dads setting up tables and grilling hot dogs at a Buddy Walk fundraiser for the National Down Syndrome Society. Couldn’t these men be doing more to improve the lives of their children? Do they understand completely their own responsibilities? He asked these questions because he questioned himself.

Joe contacted several of these dads, and the first D.A.D.S. meeting took place in Indianapolis with eight in attendance. These founding members shared stories and concerns, and great enthusiasm was generated. Now there are over 50 D.A.D.S. organizations in the United States and several in Canada, the U.K., and Australia.

These D.A.D.S. call themselves action groups as they organize and coach sports teams for their very special children. They also help with the IEP’s (Individualized Education Programs) which assure that their children get the best possible educational opportunities. They become their childrens’ strongest advocates. These dads not only volunteer at local Down syndrome fundraisers, they organize their own.

Special Olympics welcomes D.A.D.S. as they continue to empower individuals with intellectual disabilities to become more physically fit and productive.

Down Syndrome Footprint is an organization committed to creating greater awareness and employment opportunities for all individuals with Down syndrome. All items sold on the D.A.D.S. “Shop” page are either made or packaged by a person with Down syndrome. A portion of all sales goes to the D.A.D.S. organization.

Please find the link to the Footprint store on the D.A.D.S. webpage or visit DownSyndromeFootprint.org. You’ll be able to buy high quality items such as tee-shirts, pendants, shorts, teddy bears, flip-flops, and picture frames at excellent prices. These and other opportunities are created and enhanced by the D.A.D.S., but perhaps even more important is the chance for the fathers themselves to understand their roles as fathers in an even greater light.

This generation of fathers is more progressive and more involved with the actual day-to-day rearing of their children. They no longer have to be responsible for “fixing” things, and they are no longer expected to keep their emotions hidden—–as their own fathers probably did. But, sometimes a father’s own perception of himself is challenged when a child with special needs is born.

Joe Meares speaks of the three stages he experienced when his fourth daughter was born. His first stage was to be a D.A.D.—–a dad against Down syndrome—-not against his child but against that Down syndrome diagnosis. He couldn’t “fix” it, and he didn’t understand it. But, soon he became more comfortable and saw both the familiar and the unique qualities of his precious baby. He suddenly found himself in stage two—he was another D.A.D., a dad accepting Down syndrome.

Joe did not need to “fix” anything, but he did need to get ownership of Down syndrome. That is when he invited several other men who also had children with Down syndrome to form D.A.D.S. Their mission statement has three parts. Support, Fellowship, and Action.

The dads could help each other as they “fought” for a world of inclusion and acceptance for their children. They educated themselves and inspired each other.

Step three was obviously when Joe became the best D.A.D.—-a dad appreciating Down syndrome. He knew when he had reached this third stage of growth. He had replied, “That’s great,” when his wife shared that friends thought their expected child might be a Down syndrome baby.

As Joe explained, “Why wouldn’t I wish for my friends this wonderful experience I have.” At that moment, he said, “I realized I’d developed a profound appreciation.”

Joe Meares is a popular speaker and begins each speech with this challenging bit of wisdom, “The attitude of the father becomes the attitude of the family.”

As Father’s Day approaches, let’s salute the dads who appreciate life.